Being Overweight is Normal, But this Isn’t Good for Women (or Kids!)
Keeping along the same lines of the last post, when undertaking mentally what is the “fit you,” we need to acknowledge that our society has a problem with even ADMITTING there could be a “fit you.”
Simply put: if you don’t accept your post baby body… if you have any desire to be better, to be fit, or to **gasp** to be thin, you’re shallow, and must be insecure for not wanting to accept your post baby fat and sagging skin.
And… if you DO achieve your fitness goals – well then… you’re just not “relate-able” or a “real w” anymore.
The criticism when you take your health seriously and lose the weight can get pretty nasty. Women should be supporting each other in losing weight and becoming fit after pregnancy, not shaming women for wanting to do something ANY doctor would advise them is the RIGHT thing to do.
Since when did our culture get so used to overweight women being the “standard-sized” woman, that even seeing a fit mom who looks great in a bikini become something that is “body shaming” to the women who are overweight – to the point where they say she is “bullying” them by looking that good?
Remember when Maria Kang (above) posted her photo on facebook back in 2013 with her three children all 3 and under around her, and she asked “What’s Your Excuse?” as a way to show that if she could do it having 3 babies that closely together, anyone could do it? Her motivation was coming from her line of work as a fitness instructor and personal trainer, and yet thousands of women were “triggered” by her photo, even calling it “hate speech.”
She got banned from facebook for posting that photo and explanations of her goals of helping women being fit.
I remember that incident well, our oldest was 3 and I had regained my pre-pregnancy body and looked incredible (finally, it took awhile because I gained a lot with our oldest!), and was so proud of my accomplishments regarding fitness!
As a result, I saw nothing wrong with Maria’s photo, it gave me even more encouragement that I’d be able to keep my body how I wanted it, even when I had more children.
She was an inspiration to me, and it was shocking to see other women respond so negatively to her picture.
Sure she is a fitness instructor and personal trainer, but I knew I had none of those degrees and no access to a gym or personal trainer, yet I’d been able to accomplish what she had through lots of faithful exercise and eating healthy. I knew for a FACT that it was hard, but it wasn’t something impossible for most women to accomplish.
And when I saw “faithful exercise, I’m being serious. If you want to lose weight, if you’re unhappy with your body, you NEED to be taking it seriously and working out at least 5 times a week for 30 minutes each time. Otherwise, you need to accept that you will more than likely NOT lose the weight and accomplish your goals. Because you aren’t serious about it.
It takes extreme determination and will power and discipline even when you only have a bit to lose. It’s not for the faint-hearted. It’s not going to happen for you if you just take 3 walks a week and have no intense fat-burning cardio that you’re doing at least 5 times a week on top of those walks and changing your eating habits.
You either go big, or go home and remain unhappy with your body and your weight. Or try to accept it… along with all the health problems, less energy and overall happiness that comes with accepting defeat and letting fat beat you as a person.
Our American society has a major problem with accepting reality and being honest about things that are painful to acknowledge about ourselves. And we really need to come to a place where we can acknowledge these painful truths in our own lives, in order to live better, more fulfilled lives we deliberately choose.
While it may be painful to see a woman who’s had three kids and still looks like a fitness model in a bikini, we need to be able to look deep inside and see what is CAUSING that painful reaction.
Is it because we are really unhappy with our own bodies and wish we could look like that; that she’s a painful reminder that we don’t yet?
Is it because seeing her makes us feel less confident in our own made-up mental “body acceptance,” and brings out our very real insecurity stemming from the fact that NO, we’re not really happy with the excess weight we’ve gained?
Or does it make us angry because we feel like we’ve tried to lose weight and still can’t – it’s not fair that she is able to and we can’t?
These reactions are normal, but they need to be dealt with psychologically in the correct manner. It’s not enough to just say that her picture makes you feel uncomfortable or sad.
You need to search out the “why,” and then formulate a plan to do something about it!
From Maria Kang on having her picture censored for making women too emotional and angry: