August 2015

Hi, I’m a mom of two boys, a wife to an American Police Officer, a Christian, and a woman who is serious about helping people achieve their fitness goals and healthy lifestyles.  This blog is mostly a way to share my own personal journey of becoming the best person I can be – and that includes having a body I’m proud of, even after having multiple children.

My goal is to make this a place with real advice that’s easy for you to implement no matter where you are on your fitness journey.  I want to provide knowledge that will help you change your body if you’re unhappy with it.  There are SO MANY women who are unhappy with their bodies right now, and it literally hurts me to know what they’re going through.  And I do know.  This last year has been a truly horrible year for my own personal life and fitness goals.  My dad and I have always been very close, even into adulthood I would often go out to lunch with him or come over to my parents house once a week with the kids just so that I could laugh and talk with him.  Our conversations were always amazing, his depth of knowledge and pure wit fascinated me and I loved getting to see him interact with his grandkids.

All that changed around May of 2015.  My dad had some kind of psychological crisis that ended him up in the hospital for about a month.  We didn’t realize it then, and doctors couldn’t pinpoint what had happened, but it’s clear now that he had some kind of tiny stroke that has changed him forever.  To put it bluntly, it’s like I’ve lost my dad.  This whole past year I’ve avoided writing about it or getting my feelings out, because I didn’t think anyone would want to hear (for one thing), but also there’s an element of guilt which I feel because he IS still here.  I feel that I should be grateful to have him at all.

At the same time that my dad had this minor stroke, my grandfather who I’ve been looking after together with my mom, continued to decline in his health as well.  His Alzheimer’s began getting worse, taking the kids to see him became harder as my older son was scared and annoyed at going to the nursing home my mom had him placed in.  My grandfather basically raised me when my mom went back to work only 6 weeks after I was born.  I was extremely close to him growing up – he was so exciting, and I think I truly thought he walked on water.  I felt a huge need to take care of him during this time, he needed someone to check on him, to talk to him, to touch his arm or hold his hand, even if he was forgetting who I was completely.  Even though I feel like we redeemed this time with him and got a chance to reach out to the other elderly men and women who lived there (they were so awesome!), the stress that built up over time really wore on me.  Worrying about my grandpa, worrying about how he truly felt there, how he was being treated or taken care of, was becoming something constant in my mind and depressing me.

So how does this all tie in to fitness or health?  Well… over this past year, since the time of that picture above (August 2015), I’ve seriously let myself and my health, my good eating habits and exercise routines go by the wayside.  I had lost (or am losing) two of the most influential men in my childhood life at the same time, and I felt so broken so many times this past year it’s insane.  Over this year I gained all the baby weight back that I had lost, nearly 30 pounds.  It wasn’t until fairly recently that I realized what I was doing to myself.

My dad was always into fitness and health.  He and my mom purposefully put me into ballet and sports so that maintaining a beautiful body throughout my life would be second nature.  And that’s what finally made me get off the couch and start tracking my foods and exercising again.  Knowing that he wouldn’t want me to have to live like this.  He’d want me to be eating right, taking care of myself, staying at a healthy weight, but above all, he’d want me to be happy with my body.