The Fit You

Love Your Body. Love Your Life

Tag: weight gain

Being Overweight is Normal, But this Isn’t Good for Women (or Kids!)

Keeping along the same lines of the last post, when undertaking mentally what is the “fit you,” we need to acknowledge that our society has a problem with even ADMITTING there could be a “fit you.”

Simply put: if you don’t accept your post baby body… if you have any desire to be better, to be fit, or to **gasp** to be thin, you’re shallow, and must be insecure for not wanting to accept your post baby fat and sagging skin.

And… if you DO achieve your fitness goals – well then… you’re just not “relate-able” or a “real w” anymore.

The criticism when you take your health seriously and lose the weight can get pretty nasty.  Women should be supporting each other in losing weight and becoming fit after pregnancy, not shaming women for wanting to do something ANY doctor would advise them is the RIGHT thing to do.

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Since when did our culture get so used to overweight women being the “standard-sized” woman, that even seeing a fit mom who looks great in a bikini become something that is “body shaming” to the women who are overweight – to the point where they say she is “bullying” them by looking that good?

Remember when Maria Kang (above) posted her photo on facebook back in 2013 with her three children all 3 and under around her, and she asked “What’s Your Excuse?” as a way to show that if she could do it having 3 babies that closely together, anyone could do it?  Her motivation was coming from her line of work as a fitness instructor and personal trainer, and yet thousands of women were “triggered” by her photo, even calling it “hate speech.”

She got banned from facebook for posting that photo and explanations of her goals of helping women being fit.

I remember that incident well, our oldest was 3 and I had regained my pre-pregnancy body and looked incredible (finally, it took awhile because I gained a lot with our oldest!), and was so proud of my accomplishments regarding fitness!

As a result, I saw nothing wrong with Maria’s photo, it gave me even more encouragement that I’d be able to keep my body how I wanted it, even when I had more children.

She was an inspiration to me, and it was shocking to see other women respond so negatively to her picture.

Sure she is a fitness instructor and personal trainer, but I knew I had none of those degrees and no access to a gym or personal trainer, yet I’d been able to accomplish what she had through lots of faithful exercise and eating healthy.  I knew for a FACT that it was hard, but it wasn’t something impossible for most women to accomplish.

And when I saw “faithful exercise, I’m being serious.  If you want to lose weight, if you’re unhappy with your body, you NEED to be taking it seriously and working out at least 5 times a week for 30 minutes each time.  Otherwise, you need to accept that you will more than likely NOT lose the weight and accomplish your goals.  Because you aren’t serious about it.

It takes extreme determination and will power and discipline even when you only have a bit to lose.  It’s not for the faint-hearted.  It’s not going to happen for you if you just take 3 walks a week and have no intense fat-burning cardio that you’re doing at least 5 times a week on top of those walks and changing your eating habits.

You either go big, or go home and remain unhappy with your body and your weight.  Or try to accept it… along with all the health problems, less energy and overall happiness that comes with accepting defeat and letting fat beat you as a person.

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Our American society has a major problem with accepting reality and being honest about things that are painful to acknowledge about ourselves.  And we really need to come to a place where we can acknowledge these painful truths in our own lives, in order to live better, more fulfilled lives we deliberately choose.

While it may be painful to see a woman who’s had three kids and still looks like a fitness model in a bikini, we need to be able to look deep inside and see what is CAUSING that painful reaction.

Is it because we are really unhappy with our own bodies and wish we could look like that; that she’s a painful reminder that we don’t yet?

Is it because seeing her makes us feel less confident in our own made-up mental “body acceptance,” and brings out our very real insecurity stemming from the fact that NO, we’re not really happy with the excess weight we’ve gained?

Or does it make us angry because we feel like we’ve tried to lose weight and still can’t – it’s not fair that she is able to and we can’t?

These reactions are normal, but they need to be dealt with psychologically in the correct manner.  It’s not enough to just say that her picture makes you feel uncomfortable or sad.

You need to search out the “why,” and then formulate a plan to do something about it!

Stephanie

 

From Maria Kang on having her picture censored for making women too emotional and angry:

Fit Pride Isn’t ‘Hate Speech’

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Why “The Fit You” Matters in 2017

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So many women live their daily lives walking around feeling sad and depressed about the bodies they’re living in.  Let that statement sink for a little while.  Horrible isn’t it?

Whether they’re carrying around too much weight for whatever reason or feeling awkwardly thin, it breaks my heart that so many women seriously hate their own bodies.

I don’t think the solution is to just erase normal beauty standards and tell everyone they look incredible and think that’s going to solve the problem.  First off, there are usually deeper psychological issues as to why we gain weight (or become too thin) that need to be addressed, and encouraging someone toward denial is not being compassionate.  It’s actually prolonging their recovery into a healthy mentality about themselves and their bodies.

I named this blog “The Fit You,” because that’s exactly what I want women to think about.  I’m not necessarily talking about being “thin,” or even being at a certain “target weight,” for yourself, but rather the concept of being “fit.”

Imagine if you were able to get rid of the excess fat on your body that made you hate how you look in your own clothing?  Imagine how you’d feel so differently if you were physically stronger, had more muscle tone showing in your pictures on facebook, had more energy throughout the day, and were surprised how much better your face looked in pictures without the excess weight or water retention distorting your natural God-given looks?  Whether we want to admit it or not, these little things bother us more than we even know on a psychological level, which eventually… contributes to our overall happiness with our lives.

I’m speaking from my own experience here.  I’ve been very fit for probably 95% of my life, however, when I get off that track and have some significant pounds to lose, I become very aware when I don’t have the strength in my arms that I usually had.  Or the energy I had when I was regularly exercising.

I went back through our family pictures for the last year and a half, trying to mentally grasp how my body has really changed by adding 30 pounds and I was floored!  I realize some of you might think 3o pounds is nothing – but my body doesn’t hide fat well, and being overweight at all is not the norm for me.  I may be tall (which is an advantage when it comes to weight proportion, sorry short women! 😦 ), but my bones and frame are super tiny… this makes virtually any excess weight 10 lbs+ show up very quick, especially in photos.

My face changes so much when I’m overweight, and even if all these changes didn’t bother me much, the fact that none of my normal clothes fit psychologically affects me negatively.

Can women really learn to try to love the bodies they’re in right now?  I’m sure they can, but I think it’s more from them trying so long and failing so often at losing the weight, that they eventually give up hope of ever achieving their best fitness level and learn to accept defeat.  Then they go around angry at anyone who represents the fitness industry, accusing them of “fat shaming” simply by existing as a thin woman.  That’s not a good way to live your life.  We are all responsible for our choices, and it’s usually a choice to become fit or just accept yourself the way you are.  There are some women who insist they’re fit even though they have 100+ pounds of excess fat.

mental-illness-1denisejollyspoken.com

Where do we draw the line for defining fitness?  When can we be honest and admit when we’ve lost sight of what we really were designed to look like?  And more importantly, why on earth do we feel like we need to lie to people when we know lying to them will never help them solve their problems?

I think all of us to some degree, have to combat the tendency to lie to ourselves and tell ourselves that it’s not that bad.  But when we finally see that Christmas photo a relative took of us when we were caught off guard, sometimes the truth hits us like a ton of bricks!  And we’re faced with the awful reality that bursts our bubble of denial that we thought we really didn’t look that bad.

But why do I want you to think about the fit you?  Because it’s great motivation and is almost always achievable baring medical conditions preventing you from losing weight or exercising.  Professional and Olympic atheletes often imagine them achieving their success many times before they even get to their event.  This imaginging themselves succeeding is actually benefical even for their muscles!  It’s not that different when imagining yourself achieving different kinds of successes or events that take physical and mental focus and training.  When you imagine yourself as being fit, exercising, or even building muscle, you’re actually preparing your brain and muscles in your body for achieving that success.

And your happiness level will go up!  The “fit you,” is proud of herself and what she looks like.  She can go out in a bathing suit and feel proud of her body, is stronger than you are now, has more energy with her kids and husband, and feels good naked in the light!

Simply put, the “fit you,” is more free.

Remembering my fit self gives me incredible motivation because I remember how good it felt – how wonderful it was to feel so much more energetic and not have to worry about which clothing minimized my “problem areas.”  You really are so much more free – free to have fun, free from worrying over how you may look, and free from feeling confined in a body you’re ashamed of at some level mentally.

Don’t you want that for yourself?  Aren’t you tired of feeling like you hate the body you’re in right now?  Are you tired of feeling like you looked better 5 or 10 years ago?  You don’t have to accept defeat or to learn to love your body if it’s truly at an unhealthy state.

You can make some changes!  We can do it!  And I’m doing it alongside you.

❤ ❤ ❤

Stephanie